How long must I suffer, oh God?
How long will you keep the joy of salvation far from me?
I proclaim your goodness to my attackers; I pray for the hand that strikes me and stirs itself up in wrath against me. I do not attack back wrongfully, oh God. Nor do I seek revenge or desire your hand against them. I seek justice all of the days of my life, and I am merciful so that I might receive mercy.
Why do you come at a whim God, scarcely when I call out to you, but more often when I am not looking for you at all?
Why have you asked me to put aside good things, the things that have brought me joy throughout my life? I do not seek to lift them above you God, nor is it my desire to make gods of them, little worthless idols made by the hands of men. For I have worshiped at the feet of idols before , oh Lord, and I have turned from my wickedness back to the living God.
Why are your promises so far off? Is it just an illusion, Lord? They seem to me the distance of the sky, and you have not given me wings Lord, though I have often desired to take flight like the jay's outside my window.
But you are the living God, the one who made the heavens and the earth by the Word. And though it pains me Lord when the peace of your Spirit is far from me, I press on Lord, because I have nowhere else to go and desire nothing but you.
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